An Introduction to My 35+TTC Blog: No Trigger Warnings

A quick blurb about me: I am a 42 year old mother of four children, ages 10 months – 23 years 🙂 In addition to being a mom, I am an artist and a garden/wine/travel/cheese enthusiast! Also, I am a wife and a self-proclaimed fertility-fact-finder-outer! Oh, I’m going to be a Grandma this year! Finally, I am trying to conceive (TTC) via another woman’s uterus using my and my husband’s embryos. A bit more on that later.

In April of 2021, I had my 4th child, first one in my 40s. My husband and I will soon be starting our next baby adventure, though, this time will look quite a bit different due to me having an involuntary hysterectomy (hey, I sure as hell didn’t want the damn thing)!

I am devoting this blog to women everywhere, including myself, who are TTC in their late thirties and forties. It can be incredibly difficult, not impossible, but damn difficult. I spent years trying to conceive my son, now 10 months old! I suffered three losses: a missed miscarriage (MMC), a CSP Ectopic (Cesarean Scar Pregnancy), and a loss of a twin. I have done years of research on how reproduction works and how it changes as we age. If I came across something I didn’t understand, I dug deeper until I did understand it, then so on and so forth until I knew a F-ton about a lot of crap related to TTC a baby at an advanced maternal age. Who cares to talk about that stuff!? … Other women ttc a baby in their 40s, that’s who! I’m left with some knowledge and advice that I enjoy sharing with women who could benefit from it.

– You will see these “trailing thought” boxes all the time. The teal box that I am typing inside of right now is my way of letting you know that I just went off on a small mental road trip and I will return soon.
– I am horrible at grammar. Seriously, it is embarrassing. I apologize this one time to all the Grammar Nazis out there who will act as though I’ve thrown a puppy onto a fire every time I put a comma in the wrong spot, or say who instead of whom. I also put prepositions at the end of sentences and change tenses inappropriately 🤦🏻‍♀️
– I am not a doctor. I wonder if I need to paste that all over? Literally think of everything I say as bullshit. You have to! You don’t know me! Double check everything you read on the internet, always.
– Throughout my TTC journey, I have not been given any warnings of any kind for anything. The concept of there being No Trigger Warnings in life and the fact that we often write “trigger warning” to warn someone that they might read something coming up that could remind them of something that happened in the past…. it’s a little fascinating and it just resonates with me, hence the name. Please, if you are easily triggered by topics pertaining to TTC and loss, tread lightly here.

This Blog is the perfect way for me to share what interests me and the topics and ideas I research, such as how to reverse our aging reproductive parts. I know that sounds insane, but there has to be some reversing going on. I am very interested in supplements that make things work like they did five years ago, how about that instead. I do a lot of research about anything from oocyte and sperm quality to blood flow, energy assistance and low level light therapy to protocols for medicated cycles and IVF, hormone manipulation… gosh, you name it. This blog allows you and me to comment, share, and ask each other questions. I sincerely hope to create a community of people, obviously mostly women, all traveling in somewhat the same direction but on various, meandering paths. No judgements here.

My podcast No Trigger Warnings (NTW) premiers April 3rd, 2022 at 2:00pm PST. It is a project that I am very honored and proud to be a part of. It will give women 40+ a platform to share their voice and their remarkable journeys trying to conceive. I will interview women whom are currently trying to conceive, are pregnant, or have finished their journeys. Just to hear success stories at our age… it will be amazing. It will be uplifting, inspiring, emotional, challenging … and oh so rewarding. I’m excited to bring ttc over forty out of the shadows. The war we often silently fight is in the headlines: “WOMEN OVER FORTY ARE TRYING TO CONCEIVE, HOLY HELL, READ ALL ABOUT IT!!!”

There are countless women TTC in secret due to fear of what people will say if they found out. I did with the baby we had last year and I was again until this blog post was uploaded. Now, it’s out there: We are TTC. People will think it’s too soon, too late or you are doing it with the wrong person! “You don’t have the money, the time, a big enough house!” or “Is it the right time with Covid?” …. You’ll have to hear the “Holy shit, you’re serious?” or “Are you crazy?” or “I couldn’t imagine doing it all over again”. For all of you who hear those things, or are afraid to hear those things, this podcast is for you. You will be able to listen to other women YOUR AGE talk about trying to make babies. What more could we ask for?!

It’s not just people you know saying dumb ass shit, but it’s the medical field as well. Doctors and even OBs are not generally very supportive of women TTC over 40, especially closer to 45. Some are, don’t get me wrong, but when you hear those eight soul-shattering words “YOU ARE TOO OLD TO HAVE A BABY” come from a medical professional, it can really mess with you, big time.

I trusted my doctors until I started researching things myself. I started reading about women my age having babies. I started doing what they were doing and I started finding out alternative solutions to things my doctors were saying were the End-All Be-All! And guess what, I started getting pregnant! So, for all the women out there who were having trouble conceiving and went to your doctor, only to get no help, this blog and podcast are for you.

You can still keep your family planning on the down-low, we all get it believe me, but you don’t have to be isolated. You don’t have to feel absolutely alone and like no other 40+ year old woman anywhere on earth is conceiving. There are thousands upon thousands of women out there feeling isolated, depressed, worthless and feeling like less of a woman because they can’t get pregnant or keep having losses. Their self worth is beaten down, their hope is up in smoke… This Podcast is a much needed salve for those women.

A few years ago, when I was working on my 15th cycle of trying, I found solace in an online forum thread devoted to women TTC in their 40s. There were a few women whom particpated that were in their late 30s as well 🙂 I started a thread and slowly women my age started coming around and chatting. It has grown quite a bit and it has seen quite a number of successful babies be born to women of advanced maternal age.

I get so much joy witnessing women get their Big Fat Positives (BFPs) and their Take Home Baby (THB). The online community can be a phenomenal source of support, hope, advice and love. Honestly, that’s why I’m here, writing this blog. I am starting another new and scary journey soon, one that has remained a, you guessed it, “secret” until this very blog post. Stay tuned for that 😉

In addition to sharing a lot of great info, I would like to earn some money. It’s uncouth to discuss money *eye roll* but I (remember my hubby is always included in that “I” lol) have quite a bit of money to earn in order to pursue our dreams of having another sweet baby and sibling for our precious miracle. My teaching career was just getting started before I decided to conceive a second “set” of children. I did not leave a long-time position teaching or anything.